Life can be so unfair. It just doesn't make sense.

I believe that multiple lifetimes and re-incarnations balance out bad lives. It makes things fair at the end of the day. I also believe that we choose to come down here, from Heaven, not unlike we would choose to take a trip to the gym. I think that life only seems unfair when it's seen through the perspective of a finite mind, which assumes that we only live once and that this life is the be all and end all.

My wife walked into my office this morning bothered and announced Dana Reeves passed. Even though she didn't say what you have, her face reflected the same feelings, and so did I moments later.

I can only hope that after all the trauma their teenage son has endured, he builds upon his trials and tribulations as he grows into a larger then life leader.

I don't know why stuff happens, Jill.  I don't know why people who haven't done anything wrong in their lives end up losing everything they own to a fluke accident; I don't know why children who haven't had a malicious thought in their entire short lives have to suffer through cancers and other horrific diseases.  I just don't know why.  The concept of free will that christianity peddles just doesn't cut it sometimes, you know? (and please delete that last sentence if you feel it's going to take this thread in the wrong direction.  I won't be offended at all)

I do think that it's not what happens to you that matters; it's how you deal with it that really counts. Not comforting to hear when you're dealing with a tragedy or a crisis, but....I really do think it's true.

I agree that life isn't fair and that it sucks sometimes. I guess it's the age old question of why do bad things happen to good people? I guess that is what makes me believe in God (or a higher power) and life after death. It helps me to think that there is an ultimate justice. That at some point all the people who have hurt other people will be punished. And those who helped other people will be rewarded.

I question. I don't accept all Catholic, Christian teachings. Mainly for that reason. I don't think it's fair to say that because Gahndi wasn't a Christian he doesn't deserve a spot in heaven. And at times I don't even know that there is a heaven or hell.

I agree with dharma. You have to play the hand you're dealt. You can let a tragedy ruin you and make you a bitter, miserable person or you can handle it with grace and find a way to move past it.

AndyB, very thought provoking philosophy you have there.

Titan, I only hope their son can manage a happy life in whatever he does. I don't think there should be any pressure on him to do anything other than that.

dharma and Loca, Dana was truly an excellent example of someone who did the best anyone could with what they were dealt. She once said of Chris' situation that they could wallow in the tragedy of it or they could create a new, different life. Of course they did the latter. She was the epitomy of grace and dignity. That is why I find her story so incredibly heart breaking.

I want to believe that people will get what they deserve one way or another after death but I am left feeling like that is exactly why religion was created, to help people make sense out of something that makes no sense.

A long time ago, when bad things happened to me, I made the decision to stop asking "why me?"

Now I ask, "Why NOT me?"

Why not (out of all the people in the world) shouldn't that happen to me?  What makes me think I deserve better?  I may not be a "bad" person, but I would submit I haven't done anything so wonderfully awesome that fate should skip past me when bad things are dealt.

 

 

Tova, do you really honestly think you would have that attitude if you were in Dana's shoes? I am willing to bet not. She was married only 3yrs when Christoper became paralyzed. She redefined her life and went on only to find out she had lung cancer a mere 2yrs after losing him. I can't imagine anyone in her shoes thinking they didn't deserve better than that.

No matter how deep you go....God is deeper still.

Corrie Ten Boom

I wish God helped me make sense of it but he hasn't. I heard an interview with one of Dana's friends last night and she said that right up until the end that Dana found peace in feeling that the tragedy in her life was balanced by the incredible things she experienced. What an incredible lady!

A long time ago, when bad things happened to me, I made the decision to stop asking "why me?" Now I ask, "Why NOT me?" Why not (out of all the people in the world) shouldn't that happen to me? What makes me think I deserve better? I may not be a "bad" person, but I would submit I haven't done anything so wonderfully awesome that fate should skip past me when bad things are dealt.

INDEED, why NOT you? or me? or anyone? that's the way it goes, and it stinks.
I learned this with the first heart attack. I couldn't figure it out at first, why me Lord?

Why do innocent people get hit head on by drunk drivers, taking out a whole family or a beloved wife or husband. Is it fate? destiny? God's plan? I don't think that for a second a loving God would have a drunk take out a valued and loved family member.

Life isn't fair. Period. I think any of us would do the best we could if we were in Dana's shoes. She was admirable yes, and it's a real loss for the world as well as a horrid tragedy for her son, yet he's inbued with his parents great attitudes and I think he will be fine.

I think any of us would do the best we could if we were in Dana's shoes

What other choice would you have?

Is it fate? destiny? God's plan? I don't think that for a second a loving God would have a drunk take out a valued and loved family member.

No, I don't either. It doesn't make sense. It just makes me angry. I have known too many wonderful people who have suffered terribly and died far too young while some of the most vile beings live a long happy life. It isn't fair and it simply sucks.

Why is it some of the biggest monsters around can crank out baby after baby only to abuse them and some of the most loving people who would make the world's best parents are unable to conceive? These are the types of things in life that deter me from believing in a personal God. I can't accept that a God who is there with us always would allow these things to happen. I can see giving us little struggles to overcome and learn from. But stuff like babies suffering their short lived lives shouldn't happen.

Life isn't fair, I know. It's the getting used to it part that I have trouble with.

Life isn't fair, I know. It's the getting used to it part that I have trouble with

right,  isn't fair,  and most if not all of us have a difficult time with getting used to that idea.

Maybe if one takes the attitude of "making the most of everything",  if one tries to use the lemons to make lemonade,  then the best outcome,  the best possible thing can result from tragedy,  crisis,  what I'm trying to say is when faced with

adverstiy,  then turn it around so it doesn't win!  That's what Danna did!    she used her Chris's accident, along with him, to help others.  That's how to beat it!   not easy though,  easier to say than do

Reply By: JillUser	Posted: Wednesday, March 08, 2006
I think any of us would do the best we could if we were in Dana's shoes What other choice would you have?

I think we have many, many choices.  We could choose to use alcohol, drugs, we could choose to linger in the grief,  not coming out into the world,  I think most of us choose to forge on, forward with our lives, and it isn't easy.

Tova, do you really honestly think you would have that attitude if you were in Dana's shoes?

I don't know Jill since I am not in her shoes.

I do believe we are all gonna die, and most of us aren't gonna die painlessly in our beds from old age.

When I hear about Dana I think of my aunt who right this minute has lung cancer. She has done as much as Dana, imho, with a lot less resources.

Not that its a competition, just wanted to let you know I am close to this sort of situation.

I don't like that Dana died or my aunt will die from lung cancer. But I can't bring myself to attach fairness to it.

Does that make sense?

And I'd just like to add I am GLAD life isn't fair.

Not in situations like Dana, but I have often been thankful when acting the jerk, for not getting "what I deserve and what would be considered fair."