I'm not a woman, but the subject has come up with me before.

People are wired differently. I know men who talk about nothing else, and consider it the high point in their life. I don't dislike it, but honestly I don't consider it necessary like oxygen the way some people do. I know guys that think I am wierd, and I dated girls who later accused me of being gay because I wasn't humping their leg like a dog all the time. I've had men call me a liar when I said I wouldn't cheat on my wife.

Then again there are people who ruin their lives, die needlessly of diseases, murder their spouses, etc., all because sex is so important to them. I guess it is like anything else, people react to it with great diversity, and some take it to extremes in either direction.

I don't know why that is either, but my neighbor is like that. She is now divoced that is why I know about her feelings towards sex. Seems to me it is more than just the physical that they have a problem with. I don't know, maybe it is the intimacy or they think it is a chore.
I didn't see the other blog, but I 'll bet there are lots of other issues going on as well.

I personally love sex. Not that I would do it with anyone but I enjoy it and feel deprived if I have to go too long without. I always told my husband how lucky he was to have me because I know tons of my friends who thought sex was a chore that they would rather not do. I do think I had a huge change in attitude about sex after living without it during six month deployments. When he got home I didn't care if I looked fat or the lights were on, it felt good and obviously I still turned him on even if I didn't have the perfect body.

I dated girls who later accused me of being gay because I wasn't humping their leg like a dog all the time

that line just cracked me up baker - how dare you resist their feminine charms. ha

I don't know any women that don't enjoy sex, unfortunatally, a few of their husbands don't like sex, or at least, sex with them. They don't cheat (that I know of) but they rarely, or in once case literaly never, touch their wives. So my experiances are kinda backasswords. I do know that, for myself, a guy that just never seems to stop, is a turn off for me, cause I need a break from it every know and then.. an hour is a good time, less is ok, get in to the multiple hours, and I will get bored. Maybe I'm wired funny, but I was seeing a guy that would just go and go and go, and one session was several hours for him, and it was a chore. LOL, maybe it's my wireing that's wrong, or maybe we are told as teens or whatever that if you don't go hours and hours then your doing something wrong. I don't know. Hope you find your answer though

Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Do you think it has to do with past experiences (maybe a woman who went through a traumatic labor, was a victim of a sexual crime, bad experiences with men, etc.)?


I'm no prude. I enjoy being sexual and sensual, and love that my mate finds me sexy. Simply put, sex is very pleasurable. However, I think I enjoy the affection that leads to the act even more than the act itself (if that makes any sense).

I saw that too.  It didn't surprise me; the blogger in question has some pretty 'different' ideas about the world and the way things work in general.

 

I just feel bad for her husband.

I don't dislike it, but I've been single for many years now, and don't see the point in having one-night stands. A lot of single women that I know have bed-buddies, but I still can't get my head around that either.

As far as liking it goes, it all depends on the person. The more I care for 'em, the better it is.

I am just here to see if any one can explain my first wife.

To those who have said basically we are just all wired differently, I tend to agree. I also understand that there are men who don't care all that much about sex either. I guess the two need to meet! I do know it is a HUGE problem if the couple consists of one who loves sex and one who can "live without it".

If I were single, like Nicky, I wouldn't sleep around either. There are battery operated boyfriends though And I guess I can't really say how I'd feel toward sex if I weren't with my husband. I feel we are perfect for each other so of course I enjoy it.

It is one of the issues that I know many don't agree with, but this is why I strongly believe in "test driving" before marriage. Some people have very strong hang ups about sex that they can't just get past. If one hates sex and the other loves it, it is bound to ruin the marriage. Love, trust, friendship, mutual goals and sex all have to work together in order for a couple to stay happily married.

Maybe the guy on Big Love has one wife who loves it, one who doesn't really care and one who is in between just to cover the bases

"She told me she just doesn't enjoy sex and getting pregnant was like work.  I couldn't help but tell her she must be doing something wrong!"

WOW!  I wouldn't dare talk like that to my friends! tell a friend that they must be doing something wrong?!

Sometimes it's the marriage in trouble,  sometimes the guy is a slob, or maybe he's abusive and she's turned off that way,  maybe he's ahhh, not toooo skilled shall we say?  It doesn't have to be her fault.  Sometimes it's a case of a disease undiagnosed and maybe she isn't aware she's ill. 

Mothering, housework, jobs, pets, neighbors, also all take their toll on a woman's libio. 

Personally,  I never was too tired, too sick, or anything to enjoy a romp  

 

I think part of the problem is that there's some sort of mental block for many. There's the popular myth that women don't enjoy sex. Now, it's more an urban myth than anything else judging by *most* of the women I've met. But for some, just the idea that women don't like sex in general is enough. Then they get the idea that they won't like sex, even before they've had it. If you decide you won't like something before you even try it, chances are you won't. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Add to that the fact that some women have an overpoweringly irrational fear of pregnancy (yes, I know that even with proper BC on both parties, something can go wrong... but it's a vanishingly small %), and you basically have someone who has talked themselves out of sex, often before giving it a chance.

Humans are really good at talking themselves out of things. We can convince ourselves that we're sick so well, we actually get sick.

WOW! I wouldn't dare talk like that to my friends! tell a friend that they must be doing something wrong?!

You don't understand Trudy, this is my best friend since the 3rd grade. We say anything and everything to each other. I've known her husband since the 9th grade. Believe me, he isn't abusive and I know my friend well enough to know when she says she doesn't like something, it just means she doesn't like it. I was also very jovial when I said she must be doing it wrong.

WOW! I wouldn't dare talk like that to my friends! tell a friend that they must be doing something wrong?! Sometimes it's the marriage in trouble, sometimes the guy is a slob, or maybe he's abusive and she's turned off that way, maybe he's ahhh, not toooo skilled shall we say? It doesn't have to be her fault. Sometimes it's a case of a disease undiagnosed and maybe she isn't aware she's ill.

Just to chime in with the male perspective again, if the guy isn't that skilled, it's also entirely possible that the gal ain't tellin' him so, and isn't helpin' to provide the type of feedback that would help improve the situation.

Communication is a two way street, and as a member of the male population, I know that the females out there don't come with owners manuals and each are different and unique.

Without tellin' too many tales on myself, I know that my wife and myself have 'communication issues' (not in the bedroom, before there actually) where she feels that she doesn't get enough attention from me. Sadly, it's a defeatist attitude that doesn't get improved because it becomes too much like work at times to go through all of the woo-ing that she wants done. She doesn't try, so I don't try, bit of a vicious circle in poor communication. Such is what happens if either, or both, sides don't want to pay attention or are too busy to pay attention, or even if they do pay attention the actions that are taken don't match up with the response that is expected and desired.

Complicated creatures are we, and sadly many of us wait until it's too late to do something about a problem to ever solve the problem.

Complicated creatures are we, and sadly many of us wait until it's too late to do something about a problem to ever solve the problem.

Boy is that the truth!

I've been married 19 years and we married young. Sex was high on our to do list for many years and honestly, still is. I find the older I get the better the sex gets. I'm not sure if that's just us, or if everyone has the same experience.

There was a period of time, about five years into our marriage, when I could have done without it. I didn't do without it though because I consider it my place to scratch my husband's itch whenever he has it.

He in turn is considerate, making sure we both receive pleasure from our union. And also obliging when I have an itch that needs scratched!

I think most marriages go through slumps at some point.

I expect sex at least 5 times a week. Any less and I can't concentrate because I'm thinking about it all the time!

When I was pregnant, and everything down there got bigger, my libido went through the roof. My husband would say, "Whew T, I don't know if we'll survive this pregnancy!" hehe.

Some women have hormonal malfunctions and that really does have a lot to do with sex drive. And some men after they are with a woman awhile, don't really care to take the time to warm her up. (Someone guy here wrote a blog about hating things and foreplay was on it).