I have a GREAT relationship with my parents. They are wonderful people who have helped me to become the woman I am today. My mom is one of my best friends. I wrote a tribute... one to each of them.

I'm Becoming My Mother

Legacy of Love

I was always a daddy's girl. When my father passed 7 years ago when I was 18, my relationship with my mom changed alot. We've become a lot closer now that I'm a woman, too. Her strength absolutely amazes me. She's gone from being a criticizer to being an encouraging listener. We don't always agree, but I think we've come a long way. We're more likely to pal around now...going to ceramics or the movies or out to dinner or something.

I love my mom.

It could be better and I'll leave it at that.

There has been some good times, and some estranged times.  Right now it is ok, not bussom buddies, but ok.  It is a long and kind of strange tale, that I may share one day.

It could be better and I'll leave it at that.

Please don't. At least tell me how you think your relationship has affected you.

It is a long and kind of strange tale, that I may share one day.

Dr. Guy, you too. At least tell me what attributes you might account as resulting from your relationship.

HC and Marcie, I am very happy for you. Do you think you are any certain way as a result of your relationship with your mom?

Not brilliant we fought almost daily from the ages of 16-20 then I moved out so we fought less but it's changed so much since I became a mother myself.

She doesn't like my husband and she makes me feel like she thinks thats I think I'm the only person in the world to ever had children.

She's argued with me about my wanting my daughter (under 2 years old at the time) to be carried across the road not walking, she had a half hour long argument in kmart about my not allowing her to give Elana a lollypop at 4:30 in the afternoon when she's like 20months old apparently my grandmother gave me lollies when I was a child.

She berates me for not calling, when I do call she doesn't seem interested or even listening to anything I say and she questions why we don't have a relationship like some of her friends and their daughters "oh mary's daughter calls her twice a week"

It's really weird actually when we told both sets of parents we were getting married mine were very supportive as was nick's dad but his mum took a while to warm to the idea same with when we told them we were pregnant but since then it's been so different.
Nick's parents remembered our anniversary and even sent a card my mum didn't say anything and Nick's mum is always complimenting me to other people about my parenting skills and how I'm raising Elana I have a relationship with my mother-in-law that I should be having with my mum.

Whoa vent over - sorry Jill

As a child growing up my relationship with my mom was a good one. She was loving and a strong disciplinarian. She didn't say I love you too much or give a lot of hugs. That's how she grew up, but not doing that too much didn't mean she didn't love us, she showed her love by taking care of us and being there when we needed her.

As a teenager, I wanted my freedom. My mom was strict and I couldn't understand why she didn't want me to do somethings or hang out or stuff like that. But I still loved her.


As a woman, our relationship was one of friendship as well as mother-daughter. We were very close and when I moved away from home I realised how much I missed her and how much I loved her. We shared a lot of things.

[I'm tearing up....oh my God I didn't realise talking about this would make me cry and I'm out in public!]

I'm ok. My mom was like a new person with me and my siblings because we said I love you, we hug, we showed emotions a lot more.

I've learned a lot from her, patience especially was one of her virtue. I learned that from her.

I make sure to have a good relationship with my children, especially my oldest girl who is 16. Ye gads she's 17 this year! But we are close and we communicate and that's great. I hope one day she will be able to say nice things about our relationship.

I miss my mom a lot I guess I'll be fragile for a long time yet.

trina p, your mum sounds like my mother-in-law so I think I know what she is like. I guess the good news is you have a relationship with your mother-in-law. I guess some times our parents show us how to be and sometimes they show us how not to be.

miss my mom a lot I guess I'll be fragile for a long time yet.

My heart goes out to you foreverserenity. Sounds like you had a very deep connection with your mom. I can't imagine being without mine. I pray I won't have to find out for a very long time.

My older sister was with mom most of the time and my kid sis was dad's favourite and with him going fishin, hunting, ect.

So I had the pleasure of being with Grama loved it! Got my love of old folks from her, also learned independance early on as
I was trusted ? to be alone.

So I'm very independant in thinking and behavior, patient with slow moving people, and tolerant with
situations that drive most people bonkers.

When I was around my mom, I was physically abused, and dad wasn't there for me emotionally. These hard pieces
left me, as a young adult, searching for love in all the wrong places.....and maturing was difficult.

fortunately, and sadly, dad and I became close when he became ill with cancer and we had heart to heart talks.

Dr. Guy, you too. At least tell me what attributes you might account as resulting from your relationship.

That would take a whole blog in itself.  Suffice it to say that I do respect her greatly, even if she is not June Cleaver.

My heart goes out to you foreverserenity. Sounds like you had a very deep connection with your mom. I

Thx and I did. I love talking about her so thanks for letting me share.

My mom and I are extremely close. I have a sister 2 years older than me and the three of us are like best friends. When I worked at my previous job it was retail hours, so I always had a day off during the week. It was Friday, so my sister and mom took off those days as well and it was always our girls day! I live 10 minutes away from my mom now and still talk to her on the phone just about everyday.

My dad is not very affectionate, so I think my mom tried to overcompensate while we were growing up by always hugging and kissing us and telling us she loved us. She also made us feel like we could trust her and come to her with anything and she would never turn us away.

Now that I am married and out of the house (I guess that makes me an adult!), Ok so now that I am an adult, I am so glad to have had my mom growing up. I feel like I will take what she showed me and in turn become a great mother myself one day. I have also absorbed her compassion and affectionate disposition as well. I tell Scott I love him like 10 times a day, to the point of him rolling his eyes with a response of "Ok, ok I get it " And I am glad I had such a great role model to show me that saying these simple words are important.

She actually has friends who tell her how lucky she is that her daughters want to spend so much time with her, and even vacation together still. (we are all going to Hawaii in 2 months!) And she likes to tell herself that that is the test to see how good of a mother you were. Do your kids actually want to spend time with you and remain close after they leave the nest?

she likes to tell herself that that is the test to see how good of a mother you were. Do your kids actually want to spend time with you and remain close after they leave the nest?

Well, I guess that depends on how you gauge what "good mothering" means. I always felt that being a good mother meant you had a good relationship with your kids similar to what you said. I have recently taken a less emotional look and put out the question "Isn't the role of a good parent to set your child on a course to lead a successful life?"

Some of the most successful people I know have less than warm relationships with their parents. But somehow their parents taught them valuable lessons of life and taught them to be strong.

What I struggle with as a mother of boys is being warm and nurturing so they know how much they are loved without cottling them. Be strict enough that they learn respect without being cold. Our society wants sweet, nice, well behaved boys who aren't sissys. We want strong, boisterous boys who aren't bullys. Cultivating that blend seems difficult to me. How do you hug them and cuddle them one minute then throw them out onto the football field to knock the crap out of each other?

My father is not in the picture at all...only my mother raised me. She and I differ in personality and perspectives, and have had several rough spots in our relationship. We had a turning point several years ago when I went through a very personal crisis, and since then I've been able to open up to her a bit more.

I cannot say we have the best relationship in the world, but it has gotten alot better over the years. I am very grateful for the fact that despite her being a single mother and not having much money (we were not well off at all, actually), she was able raise six children...and we've all turned out to be pretty decent people.

My mother and I have always gotten along, but we aren't very close. I think a large part of that is due to the private nature that we both share. My parents divorced when I was nine, and my older sister and I both felt very strongly about choosing to live with our dad. He and I have always been close, and he's one of my best friends.
My dad remarried when I was 18, and my step-mother has two daughters of her own. It took my step-mother and I a few years to really start getting along, but we ultimately bypassed any mother-daughter-type relationship, and are more like friends.
My mom recently moved about four hours away, closer to her own mother. So I will see her less. We probably talk about once or twice a month.

Mother-daughter relationships have eluded me a bit, but I find them interesting to observe. I can certainly speak on the value of good father-daughter relationships.