Elementary School Football

Starting the Division Young

Published on September 19, 2005 By JillUser In Misc

I don't know if your community has this but ours starts football and cheerleading at the 4th or 5th grade. Our neighbor friend has a 5th grade daughter who is in cheerleading. She is a beautiful, sweet little girl. I had concerns about the peer affect of such a thing but figured since it wasn't school related that it probably wouldn't be too bad.

Well, today this little lady showed up for me to take her to school in her cheerleading outfit. I was a bit shocked. She said they had won their game that weekend so all of the football players and cheerleaders would be wearing their uniforms to school. Sure enough, I pulled up to school and saw little clusters of jersey clad boys and short skirted girls. I cringed!

I was a cheerleader in middle school. We didn't wear our skirts to school though. We always had running pants that went with our uniforms or we would wear sweatpants. Even at the middle school level the division of ranks meant drastic changes among social groups. Friends who had been together since Kindergarten were split up by feelings of being different and excluded. It pains me to think that kids are now going through this as early as elementary school when being different is the worst thing they could think of being.

Anyone who thinks that their kid isn't going to be affected by the peer pressure of being in a group that sets itself apart like that is fooling themselves. I know many people who are very intelligent, good people who fell victim to pack mentality at a much older age. I was very mature for my age when I was in middle school yet I still found myself going along with behaviors I soon regretted. In my opinion, starting even younger will just compound the problem.

So I think I will talk to the school administrators, maybe go to the PTO meeting tomorrow evening and see if maybe we should discourage kids from wearing team uniforms to school. After all, it isn't even school related! My son doesn't wear his baseball uniform to school. Kids don't wear their soccer uniforms to school. At this age, none of that is school affiliated so I think it should be kept out of the classroom entirely.

I am interested in seeing others' opinions on the matter before I speak to the school.

Comments

Tova7

on Sep 19, 2005

It's the same way here. The league has nothing to do with the school, but the kids still wear jersey's and cheerleading uniforms.

I don't know how your school will respond. This was an issue here a few years ago. Basically the concerned parent was told as long as the uniforms were within the schools dress code rules, the kids could wear them.

We have a 3rd grade cheerleader next door. She seems to have matured overnight since beginning cheering this year. I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that older girls (but not mature women) have a big part in teaching and practicing with the younger ones.

The pack mentality you speak about isn't ever going to change. It is brought on by group association. Each group of kids (cheerleaders, football players, basketball, etc) identifies with their team mates. In a time when being odd ball out is terrifying... kids find comfort in their groups of common interest and being human often also feel superior because they aren't the odd man out. IMO cheerleading and sports get more status because they are more visible and make the group seem more important and lets face it, even the parents attend these events in droves which only adds to the status.

I don't think complaining is gonna do you a bit of good other than label you as someone who was the odd ball in school and wants to change things now....(I am not saying you were, I am saying that is exactly how people who do that here are viewed.)

As for my own kids, boys thankfully! Just kidding. I am helping them find their niche so they can have a group of people their age to identify with. My two are polar opposites so I can see both sides of this issue.....one very social, the other, well, not.

Good luck and let us know what you decide.

JillUser

on Sep 19, 2005

I have boys too. You are probably right about complaining. The thing is, I bet those little skirts aren't within dress code. Skirts and shorts are supposed to be passed your fingertips when you hold your arms straight down. I know darn well these cheer skirts aren't meeting that requirement.

I know it is probably something that I can only approach with my own kids and hope to help them through it. I wasn't the odd kid out but I was an empathetic kid that felt terrible about making other kids feel like the odd one out.

Why are we nudging kids to grow up so fast these days?!

Tova7

on Sep 19, 2005

So they'll move out sooner? haha!

JillUser

on Sep 19, 2005

So they'll move out sooner? haha!

I like my kids too much to think that way but a lot of parents do think that way.

Draginol

on Sep 19, 2005

I'm glad I have boys.

JillUser

on Sep 19, 2005

It is a stickier situation with the girls than the boys. I asked my 8yr old if he thought anything about the kids who wear their sports uniforms to school and he said "Why? Should I?" Man I love that boy!

Tova7

on Sep 20, 2005

The beauty that is B-O-Y! They really do rule.

We were at a fair this summer and there was a little girl there who had a shirt on that said, "Boys suck. Throw rocks at them."

I asked my son what he thought. He is 9. He rolled his eyes and said, "She's stupid. If she throws rocks at me I will throw them right back."

It's not exactly a Gondi answer but how stupid was that shirt? Even as a joke it is just wrong on all kinds of levels. And I certainly don't want my sons to ever marry a woman who has no respect for them.

Tova7

on Sep 20, 2005

Sorry for the double post...puter is acting funny today.

Mark

on Sep 20, 2005

Maybe starting younger will compound the problem but I doubt that it can really be compounded much. For me one of the most painfull thing was having a friend in junior high that suddenly would have nothing to do you with you in high school. One year you are hanging out together laughing to the point that you cannot breath and the next you are being passed in the hall by someone who doesn't know you. It was the shock of it more than the fact that it happened. That is what high school was like for a lot of people.

You could make an argument that the sooner they learn what things are like this the better. Maybe some of those who get caught up with the pack mentality will abandon it sooner because it is childish. Those who are out of it will learn what it is and how to deal with it sooner.

But I don't think so. I do not think this is a loss of innocence thing at all. I think these divisions exist in almost their earliest interactions with each other and there is probably not much we can do about it (make better people). I also think the children understand it even if they are hurt by it.

I think that all you can really do, as a parent, is work to make sure that your child can form real friendships and bonds that last. I think that this early time in our lives is for just that...figuring out how to form important relationships. Many people learn to do it in a very shallow way but rarely does that last. Even shallow people get tired of shallow relationships.

Pack mentality is mostly a loser for the kids except perhaps the alpha kids. But that really is not that bad it is just one more mistake to think back on and learn from in the future.

JillUser

on Sep 20, 2005

Even shallow people get tired of shallow relationships

Not according to a lot of people I have observed.

I think you are right that there really isn't anything you can do about it other than focus on your own child and guide them the best you can. Luckily my sons are pretty confident and don't seem to care too much about what others are doing. Sometimes that is almost to a fault because they don't seem motivated. Spite can be a good motivator.

Some kids will never get past that pack mentality but they will be the ones to lose out because of it. Maybe this early exposure will make middle school a little smoother. I guess I will find out in a couple of years.

Mark

on Sep 20, 2005

I forget how to link on here...I think it is:
[link]Not according to a lot of people I have observed.[\link]

You are probably right...the statement I made was a little too blanket. I probably just want to believe that because keeping deep relationships is pretty damn hard and shallow often looks like it is both easier and more fun. It is like wanting to believe that sins will eventually be punished.

Spite was a good motivator for me but often times I fell into bitter as well. It would have been better to understand myself apart from what others think but I have been at that 34 years and am still short of the goal. It is funny though because I spent most of my high school years trying to pretend I did not care what people think. In truth I was wrapped up in it the same as them but just in the opposite way. They liked it...I hated it. They hated it...I loved it.

I also really hated myself for secretly pining for one of the most popular girls in school. Funny thing is that we eventually dated briefly after my 10 year reunion. Guess what? She was kind of shallow.

JillUser

on Sep 20, 2005

It is like wanting to believe that sins will eventually be punished.

I so understand what you are saying.

I think the biggest lesson to teach is to be true to yourself. It is okay and normal to want to be popular but can you be yourself and be popular? My parents always taught me that you can either be kind and honest or popular but not both. The popular types are usually very two-faced and tend to tear down others to build themselves up.

My parents also taught me humility by saying that no matter how smart you are, there will be someone smarter. Same goes for pretty/handsome, etc. I hope I can instill in my kids the well grounded values my parents taught.

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