I know it sounds cliche but I truly love my family so much it pains me. When my husband is gone I have an empty ache. I usually try to soothe that ache with chocolate but during this particular trip of his I have been having oatmeal, banana bread and snuggling the boys until they start complaining.
Today is school picture day and I helped my 8yr old get dressed (casual but cool according to him) and do his hair. He wanted it to spike up in the front and be neat in the back. He was so proud of how he looked and was absolutely beaming when the girls next door complemented him on his 'do. He was so cute and I am so proud...it hurts!
My baby boy is in Kindergarten this year. I will be getting him ready for his school pictures in a bit. I tell him and his brother I love them constantly and smooch them whenever they will allow it. I think I would burst if I didn't. They are so wonderful that I think every day "I can't believe they are mine!"
Sometimes I am almost crippled by thoughts of anything happening to either of them or my husband. I always have nightmares when my husband goes on a trip. I am a worry wart. I have always been a worry wart.
When I was little I was afraid to go on sleepovers because I would dream that my house would catch on fire and my dog wouldn't get out because I wasn't there to help her. I worried all the time about my dad falling off telephone poles (he worked for the phone company and was known to fall off poles on occasion). I worried about my mom and sister because they were my world growing up out in the country.
My husband has been good at calming my fears. I am usually really good at just enjoying things. These days I rarely get anxious about those things but every once in a while I still get overcome with fear to the point of crying. That usually happens at night when I am over tired and my mind just runs amuck.
I will be a much happier person when my hubby returns from his business trip tonight. Until then, my poor boys will just have to endure constant hugs and kisses.