I agree with you completely. The reason there is so much trouble in society today is because of the weakening of the family. Children cannot be raised decently if both parents work. I dont have much hope for any changes for the better, however.

You can educate yourself at home, read, write, and generally be creative with your time. Many homemakers I know volunteer or substitute teach as well when their kids are in school.

Exactly....I read, write (hence the username...LOL), work at the school, do needlework and scrapbooking, have the time to cook from scratch instead of opening up a box, etc. I loved teaching, but I honestly find this even more rewarding.

To most people I'm a bum. My in-laws think I am a waste of skin, I think, and others make a lot of excuses for me.

All I can say is, those people are the ones missing out!

I can go out with friends whenever I want. But I RARELY go out (i.e. 1 or 2 times PER MONTH).

But how often can/does your wife go out with friends, and how often do the two of you go out together, without the children?

If it were a real job wouldn't you get paid by someone to do it ?

I do get paid...in the fact that I've been there when my children walked, talked, went to school on the first day a little nervous, came home from that first day full of excitement, and tons of other important days and moments...and let's not forget the satisfaction of hearing the simple words "Thank you" or "I really appreciate what you do for us" from a spouse or a child. There are more important payments, IMO, than money...and I get them all!!

It seems like children should ideally be raised by both parents. Have to think about that one for a minute.

And that can be done whether or not the parent who works outside the home helps with housekeeping duties. Parenting responsibilities and housekeeping are NOT the same thing, not by any means. One parent can work outside the home and can still be a part of the decisions that need to be made regarding the children, can still take part in the discipline of the children and the nurturing of the children, can still spend quality time with the children, when work is done. It just has to be a matter of time management and priorities. My mother stayed at home, and my father had a job outside the home, yet I never felt as though he wasn't an equal parent to me and to my younger brother. He was ALWAYS there for us!!

Homemaking is a real job--but it is only open to those who are married to a man or woman rich enough to support them.

As a lower middle class mom, who stays at home, I have to disagree. We are not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. We just have different priorities....for us, it's more important to have me staying home than it is for us to have cable tv, cell phones, widescreen TV, two cars, designer clothes, etc. We make due with the simple basics of life, and try to instill the importance of family in our children.

My wife worked until we had kids. We both agreed that she'd stay home with them when the time came. She loves it. To say it isn't a real job is foolish. We are making more money with her staying home with the kids than if she went back to work teaching. After taking into account childcare, we would be making a few thousand more dollars a year. Is it worth a few thousand dollars to have my wife stay home with the kids? Damn right it is.

I commend anyone who stays home as a domestic goddess. However, I would go insane. I've never been the housewife type. Of course, that is also one of the reasons that I only have one child (I don't feel that I have enough time to give enough time to more than one). I stayed home for 8 months with her, then I went back to work. It's just not in my nature to be at home all the time.

That's not to say that I don't love my daughter and don't love spending time with her. All the time that I am at home I spend with her (and so does my husband). Of course, if I didn't have my parents to take care of her while I was at work, I am sure that my life would be run differently. But, the way it works now, she has 4 adults that spend time with her- My Mom and Dad and me and my husband. Not a bad deal for her, I don't think.

Of course, if I did stay home, my house would be a lot cleaner Cleaning is pretty low on my priorities. Once I get home from work, I cook dinner and spend time with my daughter. The rest of the night and weekends are spent tag teaming with my husband with switching off between household work and taking care of our daughter.

In the end, you really just need to be true to yourself. My life would be pretty stress free if I stayed home (I wouldn't have to budget money because we wouldn't have any) but I wouldn't be happy. There are other women who work and they hate it even though they have put themselves in a financial situation that requires them to work. Then you have people like somebody that I am related to who has one child, works part time because she says she goes crazy staying home, is pregnant and talks about having a third. Now *that* is not being true to yourself. (working with two or three small children? especially when you can live on your husbands income?) Be true to yourself and make your life work the way you want it.

Is it worth a few thousand dollars to have my wife stay home with the kids? Damn right it is.

AMEN!!

Then you have people like somebody that I am related to who has one child, works part time because she says she goes crazy staying home, is pregnant and talks about having a third. Now *that* is not being true to yourself. (working with two or three small children? especially when you can live on your husbands income?) Be true to yourself and make your life work the way you want it.

How is that not being true to herself? Perhaps she wants to have a large family, but yet she also gets satisfaction from spending some time away from the family...it doesn't have to be either one or the other, in my experience. My grandmother had nine children, loved them all dearly, and still worked full time at as an aide at the state mental hospital for pretty much their entire childhoods and beyond.

I think I am more cut out for working vs. staying at home at times, only because, after years of deadlines at both work and school, it's a different view of the clock, for me. Time does seem to drag on. However, I've grown to appreciate these differences. I like being able to spend time to teach my daughter things, instead of hoping that daycare/school will cover it in more detail. (For instance, my daughter toilet-trained so easily... I'd love to take the credit, but her daycare did most of the hard job.) I think the hardest part of a stay at home parent, is maintaining a sense of individuality. Being called Mamma all the time is nice and deserving, but I am my own person, and it's easy to lose sight of that.

Now that I am working from home, I have the best of both worlds. I get to be both a stay-at-homer and a working Mom on alternating days when Kole is in kindergarden; these different opportunities have certainly been an eye-opener.

JillUser, I mostly agree with you, but I've got to disagree on the vacation comment. When someone takes a vacation at work, the most critical tasks are usually delegated to someone else who can either handle them or has contact information for the vacationing person. The same thing should apply to home-makers. When the home-maker needs a break, the other family members should take care of the most critical business. Home-making is indeed just like any other job, and that means that the homemaker needs a break once in a while, otherwise we're not talking about a job, we're talking about indentured servitude at best.

My wife chose to be a full time home-maker until recently (when I left my cushy job to start my own company), and I've had a crash course in how difficult a job home-making is. I'm nowhere near as good at it as she is, and I don't do it full-time, but I only thought I appreciated it before...now I REALLY appreciate her efforts. I think everyone should have the opportunity at least once.

hats off to stay at home parents!

Hmmm, I be liking this post more by the minute!

My mom was also a "stay-at-home" mom, and it is much better for the kids. Then my parents got divorced (Dad had an affair and was subsequently thrown out), and since my mom had no real work experience for 15 years, and no education, she had to go to work as a supermarket cashier for minimum wage.....she worked her butt off "for peanuts" as she used to say. It was a constant struggle for us to stay afloat financially, even with child support payments. So yeah, it iS better for the kids to have mom stay home, but there is no guarantee that you will stay married. It taught me a valuable lesson and I got my college education in medical laboratory technology, so that after I had 3 children and unfortunately ended up divorced myself, I was able to provide very well for myself and my children. With the divorce rates so high in this country today, no matter how stable/happy your marriage is, ya' gotta have plan B.