The Difference Between Happy People and Unhappy People

Published on April 1, 2005 By JillUser In Philosophy

I am a happy person by default. I generally need external forces to make me unhappy. I say generally because even I am not immune to the effects of hormones or simply just a bad mood on occasion.

Just because I am naturally happy doesn't mean I take it for granted. I do a lot of thinking about what makes me happy while others seem to always be looking for things to "make" them happy. I wish I had answers. I do know that I take pleasure in the small things. I appreciate merely living another day with the people I love. I am thankful for health and the gifts I have been given in life. I dwell on my blessings and not on what I don't have.

I tend to think a lot of it has to do with brain chemicals though. I am very mellow by default and am therefore usually content. Many people I care about seem to be agitated by default. They are constantly having to do something or complain about boredom. I never get bored.

Maybe I am just a more simple creature. I enjoy planning things almost as much as doing. I see an endless stream of opportunity for things to do, people to enjoy, and events to look forward to. I don't look forward to getting old but I don't fear it and dwell on it like many seem to do.

The only times I feel I have "wasted" a day is if I am sick or simply haven't done anything. That rarely happens thank goodness. My kids usually keep me doing things even if it is just to play with play-doh, read a story or go to the park. I have great conversations with my husband every day. I get email and phone calls from friends and family every day. I am told I am loved every day. Why wouldn't I be happy? Yet some people have those same opportunities and feel unhappiness. Why is that?

Comments

foreverserenity

on Apr 04, 2005

Jill, very nice article. You have said some interesting things here. It's amazing that someone is always complaining about how bored or unhappy they are. I have from time to time complained too. Not about being bored, when you have kids, how can you be bored?! And not so much about being unhappy, but I surmise my demise as being discontented at times. But I guess everyone is different in what they feel and how they feel.

But Yeah for you for being a happy person all the time! I think that's just great.

KarmaGirl

on Apr 04, 2005

"Happiness is not having what you want. It's wanting what you have."

Too many people think that other's have it so much better. People have a hard time taking their life at face value and enjoying it. Some people live in the past, some live for the future, and some (and I feel few) live for the day.

People can be agitated and happy, though. A lot of people aren't happy unless they are fighting a battle with some perceived "wrong". Others just want a mellow existence with little interaction with the outside world.

Obviously, though, there are a lot of unhappy people in the world, or we wouldn't need to many different depression medications. And, though they say that a lot of that is brain chemistry, I can't help but believe that a lot of it is simply people not being able to take their life at face value.

JillUser

on Apr 04, 2005

Happiness is not having what you want. It's wanting what you have."

I love that quote!

AngelaMarie88

on Apr 10, 2005

Jill I would love to be you, if even for 5 minutes. I'm glad that you appreciate being a happy person by default. I often wonder at people who are naturally happy, "Do they appreciate that wonderful temperament they've got?" And I further wonder, "Can they possibly understand what it's like to be someone who has to have to fight an uphill battle every day to attain such happiness?" I constantly have to feed myself positive thoughts, read positive poems, positive books, I have to pray and work and serve people...and the moment that one negative thing enters my sphere, it's all shot down. If I don't work to be happy, then I am miserable, "by default."

Trade ya for a day?

Gideon MacLeish

on Apr 16, 2005

One of my favorite stories (darned if I know the source) concerns a couple of families moving from one town to another. The first family approached a man on the roadside, walking from the town they had chosen for their new home.

"What kind of town is this?" they asked the man,

"Well, what was the town like where you left?" he replied.

"Oh, it was horrible. Noisy, rude neighbors, awful children, dirty, filthy town"

"well, the old man replied "I hate to say it, but you'll find folks pretty much the same here".

Shortly afterwards, the second family came along and asked the man what the town was like. He again asked what it was like where they had left.

"Oh", they replied, "It was the most wonderful town. We had marvelous friends, everyone was so nice and so kind to us, we hate to leave"

"well", the man replied again, "You'll find things pretty much the same here".

It's all about the attitude (Benjamins be damned!)

JillUser

on Apr 19, 2005

AngelaMarie88, I feel the same way about people who are naturally slim. I have battled being overweight for as long as I can remember. My mom put me in Weight Watchers when I was 8yrs old (they don't even allow that anymore). I always wondered why my best friends did the same things I did and ate the same stuff I did but didn't gain weight like I did.

Gid, I think it is about the attitude but your attitude can be shaped by a multitude of influences, i.e. bad experiences, chemical imbalances, etc.

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