Big families seem to be back

3 or more kids not uncommon

Published on November 14, 2003 By JillUser In Home & Family

When I was growing up (born in 1970) I knew only a couple of families that had 3 or more kids. My parents were both from bigger families but I have only one sister. Lately I have been meeting a lot of big families. My husband's cousin, for instance, has 5 kids. I met a family this evening with 5. Most of the families I see when picking my son up from school have at least 3.

We have 2 and have been debating a 3rd. My baby is growing up (just turned 3) and I am heartbroken at the thought of no more babies. I am not one that minds diapers. Burping up doesn't phase me. The older I get, the harder it is to go without sleep but I still feel even that is worth it. I think my husband would probably require me to sign a contract saying that it wouldn't affect our social or sex life before he would consider it

So what compels people to have the family size they have? Are there a lot of "oops" babies out there? Are there a lot of single child families because of health issues?

Just curious.

Comments

KarmaGirl

on Nov 15, 2003

I think that the number of children that you have depends on many factors. I have one child. Our decision on having only one was effected by my health and the fact that our child was colicky for the first 6 months. Of course, I also work full time, so I really only have enough extra time to devote to one child. In the end, though, it really was a health decision. I decided that my child would be better off an only child than a child with a sibling but only one parent. I doubt that I would have ever had three children, though.

My husband grew up in a family of three children. It always seems like a family with three kids gets an "odd one out". Especially if they aren't all the same sex. With his family, him and his brother are very close, but they don't hardly even know their sister now.

MsShrink

on Nov 18, 2003

We deliberately chose not to have #3 because daugther #2 would have made a reallly horrible and difficult middle child! She's high enough maintenance as the younger daughter... middle child syndrome would have done her in!

Besides, as I delivered my second daugther and my ob-gyn says... "oh, now it's time to try for a boy", my husband promptly responded "What?? Risk having to pay for THREE weddings??"

MsShrink

on Nov 18, 2003

PoetPhilosopher

on Feb 27, 2004

I think it's probably the circle you're in. Statistically - on average families are having less children, and waiting longer to have children. I ran across this a couple weeks ago and thought it was shocking:

A report released last year by the Rutgers University National Marriage Project shows that fewer people -- just one-third of American households -- are choosing to have children. That's down from 80 percent in the mid-1800s and 50 percent in 1960. By 2010, the US Census Bureau projects, just one-quarter of all American households will have children living in them.

The implication of course is that people will stop supporting schools, etc.

If having children makes you happy and you can support them in a nurturing environment keep having them - why stop ?

JillUser

on Feb 27, 2004

That one third must be trying to make up for the childless two thirds

I do know a lot of people who waited too long to start their family and then either had only one child or could no longer have children at all. That is okay though if we are having less children. It isn't as iff there is a shortage of humans on the planet.

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