Why Can't I Remember That?!

Losing my Long Term Memory

Published on January 14, 2004 By JillUser In Blogging

I always thought it was odd when my parents couldn't remember the name of someone they had grown up with. I am 33 now and feel their pain. I grew up in the same small town with pretty much the same people. Their were only 88 people in my graduating class and I had known most of them from preschool on. Back in my school days I thought these people were my world. I can't even remember a lot of their names now!

I have been with my husband a lifetime now (as far as I am concerned). We started dating when I was 21. That is 12yrs! Realistically I only really remember the 13yrs prior (ages 7-20) so it really is another lifetime. I was only an adult for 3 yrs before him. I'm not sure I ever acted like an adult before him.

We try to learn as much about each other as we possibly can. He asks me things about my life before him and I truly tell him as best I can. I find it hard to remember now though. I think there are a lot of things my brain just kicked out becasue they are so unimportant now. For instance, I had a serious boyfriend for the couple of years prior to meeting my husband. I honestly can't remember even the month that guy was born in. I am usually really good about birthdays but am at a loss about that one.

My husband has an incredible memory and can practically remember his birth

This leads him to think that I claim to not remember things that might be upsetting to him. It is upsetting to me that I can't remember!

I am not saying I don't remember anything prior to the last 12yrs. There are plenty of things that are crystal clear. Many are major events of the past but quite a few are mundane little things. I spent a lot of time on the school bus and remember that all too well. I remember playing in the woods and doing dishes. I just don't seem to have the power to decide what to keep and what gets kicked out.

Can anyone out there relate to this?

Comments

crimson

on Jan 14, 2004

Hey. I completely understand what you are going through. I don't know if this is happening to me because I've had a child, but since then my memory is completely shot. I guess I'm too busy trying to remember when she's had her last dose of medicine, dental appointment, meal, etc., to remember anything else!

MasonM

on Jan 14, 2004

They say the memory is the first thing to go. For the life of me I can't remember what's second.

OccultPizza

on Jan 14, 2004

Yes, I have a short term memory problem. I can't remember what I said 5 minutes ago but in 3 years from now I could tell you provided I remembered it at all. The advantages are nice because it means I never have been into lying much because I could never remember the lie I told 10 mintues ago ~chuckles~ But it really sucks in memory intensive situations which is a disadvantage when you need to learn and recall certain things instantly. Once I learn it from repititious study then I am fine. I could never be a fighter pilot or a bomb technician but I do my job well ~grins~ although not as exciting it helps keep bacon on the table :0)

KarmaGirl

on Jan 15, 2004

My brain tends to throw out stuff that I haven't thought about in a few years. So, once in awhile, I will try to remember things from my past. However, I have totally forgotten the middle name, birthday, and most other info about the boy (well, technically, by age, he was a man) that I was engaged to before I met my husband. I didn't even remember that my brother-in-law had met him until we were talking about it. I also forgot the last name of one of my boyfriends. I guess you just throw out stuff that you really don't need. My brain is now full of the current things that I *need* to know. Work, daughter's stuff, bills to pay, etc. There just isn't enough room in my filing cabinent to remember everything. I think I have about 10 years of junk in there. Everything else has been cleaned out. too bad my house isn't like that......

JillUser

on Jan 15, 2004

I think that is exactly what is happening in my brain. My short term memory isn't all that bad but I just have a hard time with stuff 12yrs or more back. It is either foggy, hit and miss or gone all together. Before I got married, I just had to keep inventory on myself. Now, I have a husband, two kids, a home and business to keep my brain full. I just don't seem to have the space to store all that irrelevant stuff.

Budd

on Feb 06, 2004

Do not be upset about your type of memory. We are all the product of the genes handed down to us by our mother and father. Different areas of the brain are sharper than others. Our brain has a center for names, etc and your memory for events that are difficult for you to recall were not as stimulating to your brain as are other things. I'll bet there are areas of your life that you can recall with ease. Stop worrying and be what you are, and let your husband be what he is. He is in no way superior to you because he can recall things that you can't. I'll bet you have areas that he is deficient in.

Hans Rabani

on Feb 06, 2004

How much can anyone remember anyway? If you can remember just about every past second, that is way a lot to remember. I am a programmer and I can't even begin to remember just about every lines that I had written yesterday. Is there anything wrong with me? Heck no. Its the way we are. We can only remember what we wanted to remember. Or had given time to give it a "reference" so as we could remember it later. The thing is, if we bother to remember it, we will. If not, we won't. And it would be easier for us to remember what had happened, if we just give our mind, some times to settle down. The least you could do to remember, is to worry less.

imajinit

on Feb 06, 2004

as fellow bloggers, i can't believe that no one has mentioned this yet, but since ya'll haven't, i guess i will.

thanks for waiting for me

Write it down! That's the secret to life. I know that I'm not the only one that has to keep an ongoing "to-do list"... I can't remember what i had for breakfast half the time, and i can't remember names to save my life, so i have to write things down when it's important to remember them...

this goes hand in hand with remembering events from the past. I've seen people mention using JoeUser as a sort of diary. The other night i read thru the diary that i kept about 10 years ago, and I was amazed that i was ever That stupid.

In my studies of psychology, i've learned a bit about memory, long term and short term... oh, and sensory too. Without going into too much detail, (i would advise anyone who's curious to study this stuff, it's extremely interesting), when you want to build up your muscles, you exercise 'em. You challenge your muscle to exert itself, you feed it (proteins and the like), it gets stronger and then it can handle more of a load. This is the same way your brain works. The more you challenge it, the more it'll be able to handle.

Go to a search site and type in "Mankato Nuns"... check out the brains on those chics. One of 'em was still teaching in her 90s!!!!!!!

i could go on and on blabbing about memory, but i'm gonna shut up. I just got some life altering news from my boss while i was writing this blog, and i suddenly don't feel like writing anymore.

So much for graduating in December

Fuck

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