I just wanted to say that because you weren't baptised, don't belong to a church, & lived with your fiance ARE NOT reasons you would go to hell. I am a non-denominational Christian and the TRUE reason for going to hell is if a person stands before God on his/her judgement day and rejects Him. There is NOT anything you can "do" or "not do" that "earns" your way into heaven. Whether or not you go to heaven depends on whether or not you whole heartedly believe that God sent His only Son to earth to save all of us who sin. And for all of those "christians" who tell you are going to hell for these nominal reasons-- you need to reply that they need to get their noses back in the Bible... because they should know better. EVERYONE on this earth is a sinner- no matter what church they belong to. God instructs us to hate the SIN and NOT the SINNER. (Hence the "let the person without sin cast the first stone"- nobody is without sin)

I would add though that your last sentence "So I go on living, learning and being thankful in the ways that fit me" is a little sketchy to me. If everyone did things in the way they "saw fit" then this world would be... well, exactly what the world is today-- a chaotic mess!! That's why God gave us the Bible. It works. It has an answer for everything in it. You just have to open your heart and mind and read it!! I would reccommend the book "Letters From A Skeptic" by Dr. Gregory Boyd for you... if you're not quite ready to tackle the Bible. It talks about all of the questions most non-believers have. It's really, really good and could start as a precursor for the difference between heaven and hell for you!

Please know that I was not always a believer. What you wrote in your discussion sounds EXACTLY like me 4 years ago. I went to a catholic school my entire life and ran as far away from God as possible. I was saved 4 years ago and my life literally changed in so many ways that I can't barely fathom how it happened!!! If you would ever like to ask me anything please feel free!!