Genetics is a Fascinating Subject

Published on July 11, 2006 By JillUser In Misc

My sister and I look a lot alike but have very different personalities. The same can be said about my sons. I find it fascinating that individuals from the same gene pool and upbringing can be so very different.

At our older son's baseball game last night, my husband was noting how timid our older one is and how that is soooo not so about the younger one. Alex, the 9yr old, is a worrier. He is also extremely gentle and patient. He has always been empathetic and nurturing. Of course I get blamed for his "wussiness" but I think I also gave him his loving, sweet nature along with the bad.

In contrast, Ryan, the 6yr old, is a do it first, think about it later kind of kid. He has fears but they usually strike him after the fact. For instance, he went on some pretty scary rides when we went to Disney the last time and they did scare him until he got off the ride and had some time to process what he had just experienced.

Ryan is sweet also but he is more likely to say a mean thing or lash out than his brother. He is also more competitive and aggressive though which tend to be considered good traits in boys. Alex isn't timid because of not being bright, quite the opposite. He lives in his head and thinks himself out of things. I can definitely see myself in him in that respect.

My dad is one who doesn't care to do anything that he isn't good at the first time he does it. I have the same tendency and so does Alex. I know I have to fight that in my own nature and help him to do the same. It is difficult to take yourself out of your comfort zone. It is especially difficult when you feel you are being compared to a sibling who is at ease with the very things you feel you are lousy at. I know that happened with my own upbringing and I think that is what is happening with my sons.

Is it our behaviour that our child picks up on or is it something in the genes? I tend to think it is genetic since I have seen the differences from so early on in my sons. Maybe that is just wishful thinking though. I certainly hope I haven't taught my son to be "wussy". I can't think of what I did differently with the first than the second though.

The other more obvious genetic influence is physical. What is strange is Alex looks more like me but acts like and has the body language of his father. Ryan looks just like his dad but I'm not sure who he acts like. He is an extremely social kid and is a leader. I do know that his big brother is the world to him. Noone can make him happier or sadder than Alex.

I can't wait to see the affects of genetics on our baby girl. There are no other Wardell girls to compare her to. If she is anything like her brothers, she'll be cute and smart and spirited. She will be her own little person but her mom and dad will be in there in ways that we are yet to see.

Comments

terpfan1980

on Jul 11, 2006

Interesting article JillUser, and I think you've hit the nail on the head, though I recall a certain funny movie that may beg to differ a little (Trading Places anyone?)

Still, I think you are largely correct that a person's genetic makeup determines a lot for them in how they'll behave and react. Environment and upbringing is also involved, but some people are just more predisposed to behave or react in some ways as compared to others.

MasonM

on Jul 11, 2006

Yeah it works kind of funny. As the oldest, I look distinctly Irish while my next younger brother definately shows our Apache blood with the dark eyes, dark hair, and very little body hair. My youngest brother looks more like me.

Dr Guy

on Jul 11, 2006

Fortunately, none of my brothers look like me, and all 4 of my kids are as different as the 4 directions. That was what fascinated me so much about my third child. Expecting her to take after one of the other 2, she went in a new direction!

foreverserenity

on Jul 12, 2006

It is a facinating subject and this is a great article. It's interesting how our children turns out right?! There's always the one that looks like dad, or like mom and the other one who will look like their grandparent. Ahh, it's not that he's a being wussy, he's just at that stage where he's unsure of himself and hasn't decided on what role he plays yet. At least that's what I tell myself about my son!

! He' not a fighter and not as aggressive as his little sister.

Texas Wahine

on Jul 12, 2006

Sounds like you described my boys, Jill.

My oldest is creative, artistic, thoughtful, a bit timid, and tends to be emotional. My youngest is impulsive and rough and tumble.

It seems odd that two brothers can be so different. And my boys look different, too. Xavier has light hair and is tall and thin. Orian has dark hair and a very stout body type. They could be from different families!

I just can't wait to see what Isabella will look like and what her personality will be like.

JillUser

on Jul 12, 2006

Sounds like you described my boys, Jill.

My oldest is creative, artistic, thoughtful, a bit timid, and tends to be emotional. My youngest is impulsive and rough and tumble.

I wonder if there has ever been a study done on first and second child behavior in that respect because I have heard a lot of people say the same thing about their kids. The first one is very thoughtful and intospective and the second one is a bit more wild and, like you said, rough and tumble. I think my sister and I definitely have that dynamic.

I just can't wait to see what Isabella will look like and what her personality will be like.

I hear ya! I just can't imagine what Ashley is going to be like. I can't picture a female blend of Brad and me. Not too long and I won't have to try to imagine her!

AngelaMarie88

on Jul 14, 2006

The first one is very thoughtful and intospective and the second one is a bit more wild and, like you said, rough and tumble.

Maybe the oldest child is timid because everything he's experiencing is for the first time, and mom & dad are going through it for the first time with him. Whereas the second child already has the trail blazed for him, giving him more confidence?

Or maybe their personalities were ingrained in their genes long before they were born.

Those are my ponderings on the matter. What a fascinating topic!

Tova7

on Jul 14, 2006

Have you ever heard of the Birth Order Theory?

It's not science by a long shot...but something fun to play with and see if it matches your family.

I went to a seminar once by a guy named Kevin Leman...he wrote a book on how your birth order predicts certain personality traits and characteristics. Anyway, he picked people out in the audience at one point and asked them a few questions (not about birth order)....then he told them if they were a first child, second, third etc.

I was amazed at his accuracy. He guessed one woman as "either a first child, or second with more than 5 years between the first." And he was right!

It was great fun and I didn't take it too much to heart (this is actually a hotly debated topic in the world of behavioral science...haha)....Here is a link if you want to have some fun with it.

http://www.ciadvertising.org/sa/spring_03/382j/kjoco/birthorder.htm

This link is pretty much dead on as far as my family goes....hahahahaha.

Tova7

on Jul 14, 2006

I don't know why that link isn't working but here it is again.

www.ciadvertising.org/sa/spring_03/382j/kjoco/birthorder.htm#middlechild
Hope that works.

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