Hormones are my Kryptonite

Published on April 7, 2006 By JillUser In Blogging

Mental stability is my super power. I'm not a trophy wife, I'm not a Martha Stewart, I'm not athletic, I'm just stable...usually. Pregnancy hormones take even that away though. I'm left feeling like a useless blob when they kick in.

I am normally an unusually level headed, logical person. I'm usually happy unless given a good reason to become otherwise. Not so right now. I had an hour long cry over something that wouldn't have phased me at all normally. I really hate that!

I don't like feeling needy. I prefer feeling needed. I resent feeling like I can't just do whatever needs to be done on my own. I hate not feeling like myself and not understanding why I'm upset. I feel guilty for having any of these feelings during a time that I am so incredibley blessed. What's wrong with me?!!

I am growing a long awaited baby girl in my body. How could I be anything but happy right now? I'm a mess today and am aware of it. I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I'm feeling angry at myself.

Comments

Dr Guy

on Apr 07, 2006

I am growing a long awaited baby girl in my body. How could I be anything but happy right now?

That may be, and it is a blessed event. but it is not what you are in totality. You are a lot more. I hope these bad kryptonites pass soon enough. Peace Dear Lady.

JillUser

on Apr 07, 2006

Thank you very much Dr. Guy.

Locamama

on Apr 07, 2006

I was horrible when I was pregnant with Bret. I have always been emotional but it just went to extremes. Just know that it's not you, it is the hormones and there is a timeline on this issue. You're still a capable woman, a great wife and mother. This will pass.

dharmagrl

on Apr 07, 2006

Aww, chickie! You're beating yourself up over what you're feeling, which only makes you sadder and angrier, so then you beat yourself up some more.

Stop it. Cut it out. You ARE strong, you ARE capable, you ARE level headed. Yes, you're hormonal, but it won't last long. See if you can find a few moments to sit and center yourself - try and reach that calm capable person that's swimming in a sea of estrogen and pull her to the shore.

I'm sorry that you're feeling bad.

{{{D}}}

JillUser

on Apr 07, 2006

I was horrible when I was pregnant with Bret. I have always been emotional but it just went to extremes

Was Bret your first or further down the line. I feel like I am getting more hormonal as I go. I wasn't hormonal at all (besides normal teen hormones)until I got the blues after having my first. Part of that was that I was in a lot of pain and was much worse off physically than I had anticipated.

I wasn't bad with my second but a little more than prior. I wonder if the hormones build up. I know I don't like it though. Like I said, hormonal influence was a pretty foreign thing to me before. I have a new found respect for it now though.

JillUser

on Apr 07, 2006

See if you can find a few moments to sit and center yourself - try and reach that calm capable person that's swimming in a sea of estrogen and pull her to the shore.

I just dropped Ry at school and think I will do just that. When he was home and I was crying it made me even madder at myself because I hate upsetting my kids. I told him I was okay but was just not feeling well. Now that I don't have to worry about how I'm affecting him, I can try to deal with myself.

Thanks so very much. The kind words left for me here really do help.

Moderateman

on Apr 07, 2006

imagine all the wonderful guilt you can lay on your daughter about how you suffered! heh.

this too will pass jill.

Locamama

on Apr 07, 2006

Bret was my middle one. I do think it gets worse with each pregnancy. Though with Brody, my youngest, it was worse after I had him. I couldn't stop crying. The only good thing was that the nurses were super nice to me after that. I think I pretty much got over it in three or four days.

Hang in there. If you have to go in the bathroom and lock the door so you can have some peace and try to compose yourself without the kids bugging you. Try to find some little pick me ups that will help you. For me, I would go in the bathroom and wash my face and spray on perfume(if you can stand the smell of perfume) and just take a minute to breathe and not have the other boys hanging on me for a minute.

KellyW0498

on Apr 08, 2006

I wish I had words of wisdom but it will pass. It is funny how being pregnant changes everything from the get go. Take some time for yourself whenever you can. Pretty soon Ashley will be with you on the outside and you won't be able to stop smiling.

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