To Heck With the Food Stamps, I'm Mad about the Manicures!

Messed Up Priorities

Published on March 12, 2004 By JillUser In Blogging

There has been a lot of talk about the rules and regulations regarding food stamps. A lot of us seem to experience the same observation, these women tend to have beautiful nails! *Notice I didn't say they all have* I would love to have beautiful nails. I don't. You know why? I don't have the time because I am taking care of my home and family!

Before children, I would get acrylic nails because I have a hard time growing my own. It is expensive and very time intensive. You have to sit there for at least an hour every week to two weeks. You have to make it a priority. Once I had kids, it simply wasn't a priority anymore.

I am wondering A)How do these women afford it? and B)Why is it they have time to sit on their butts getting their nails done?

I am sure I will get the "They deserve to feel normal too" argument. Manicures are another luxury item. Not a necessity at all! Designer clothes and coiffed hair, more luxuries. Seem to see a lot of those accompanying food stamps too.

Even seeing an example of this once (which I have seen much more than that) is enough to make you feel a bit bitter about paying for these peoples' groceries. People who deserve the assistance can feel defensive about people citing these instances, but it is one of those frustrating flaws in the system. I have so much respect for the woman with the calculator and pile of coupons in tote as she shops. She plans out a list, estimates the cost and sticks to her plan. I can't say I have ever seen a food stamp user ever reference a list or use a coupon. That is just my experience though.

Another thing I can't figure out is the cell phones. How is it they have cell phones too? Example I saw yesterday, leather coat, designer glasses, manicured nails, talking on the cell while yelling at 3 kids to stay out of the candy. All 3 kids had new sneakers, designer clothes and new coats.

I'm all for helping the needy. I am all for seeing kids get the nourishment and clothing they need. I am not for paying for luxuries I don't even have for myself or my family. My family is buying sneakers from Pay-Less and they are wearing Nikes. That just isn't right.

I am not sure how we are going to get there, but I think somehow our society needs to return to the times when people were proud to make the best of what they could with what they had. They would do anything they could to avoid hand outs. Anyone who doesn't believe that government assistance is a handout is fooling themselves. It used to be people were fine working their way up. Now any job other than the top is beneath them. Why work for less than you can make getting assistance? I'll tell you why, you can start a work record and work toward better jobs. Gain experience. Learn new things. Do for yourself and see how rewarding it is. That is how I was raised and it has worked out pretty well so far.

Comments (Page 8)

106

Gideon MacLeish

on Sep 15, 2004

Live,

from my point of view, it wasn't taken personally. No worries, I know your heart

I have answered most of those questions in my "down and out" series...it can be found in my archives on my blogsite. But, as you stated, you weren't to know.

107

liveletlive

on Sep 15, 2004

Gideon ,

Of course I meant well. I just went looking for it but haven't seen it yet . I hope whatever you need you will receive.

I'm still a bit new to the blog thing , and don't always know my way around. I also need to get things done , so I really shouldn't be here
every day. Good luck to you - I'll check it out!

108

dharmagrl

on Sep 15, 2004

Oh Boo hoo on your little predjudices. Perhaps someday that will be you with the food stamps, and if someone looks at you askew, you may remember little dharma,
the rageoholic , so quick to judge. I hope not , but life is like that.

It has been me with the food stamps. It has been me homeless. It has been me left pregnant with no where to go. Don't call me quick to judge because I am not. I've walked the proverbial mile in someone elses shoes. I know manipulation happens, because I've kept company with those who do it.

I may be many things, and perfect isn't one of them..but I am far from a 'rageoholic'.

Buh bye now.

109

liveletlive

on Sep 15, 2004

OK , I just read part of it - I hate it when these things happen!

Have you tried craigslist on the Internet ? Link

I just checked and they have listings for jobs.

You may want to place an ad in there yourself , so that someone in Vegas might see - it's free.

110

liveletlive

on Sep 15, 2004

Well that's exactly how you come across.

I may be many things, and perfect isn't one of them..but I am far from a 'rageoholic'.

111

dharmagrl

on Sep 15, 2004

Well that's exactly how you come across.

Well, boo hoo on that.

Perhaps you should read before commenting.

112

xtine

on Sep 15, 2004

And how would I have known this existed before I made the comment?

Such is the nature of joeuser. Most of the commenters also are bloggers.

113

dharmagrl

on Sep 15, 2004

Ok, all, lets put aside our differences for a moment. Gideon has an idea, and I'm trying to get as many people involved as I can. Please follow the link :Link and email Gid or myself for more information. We can make a difference here...we can help not only Gideon but other families as well.

I know I'm in.

114

Draginol

on Sep 15, 2004

liveletlive, you would go far in helping your position if you could write coherently (such as complete sentences).

115

MagickalBear

on Sep 15, 2004

This seems to be a very passionate thread, with feelings running very deep on the subject. No one asked, but I'm going to put my ten cents in. (It was two cents, but because of inflation, it's now a dime!)

I grew up poor. Until i was 7, my mom worked and my dad worked full time jobs. We lived in the projects, but we bought our own food and everything else. We shopped at thrift stores and our extended family every year bought me clothes for my birthday and christmas to help out, as well as a couple of toys and books. My mom volunteered at a thrift store so she got a lot of help with furniture and stuff. She got pregnant quite unexpectedly (she was told she couldn't have anymore children because of a difficult labor with me) and was put on bed rest because it was a difficult pregnancy. She applied for and received food stamps and WIC and my dad worked a second part-time job to help compensate for the lost income my mom had. Seven months after my little sister was born, my mom was about to re-enter the job force when my family was struck by a drunk driver. The list of injuries she sustained is too numerous to list here, but she broke or damaged over 80% of the bones in her body. The rest of us were injured, but nowhere near as severely. She spent (right after the accident) 3 months in the hospital, over a month of which was in ICU. She is completely and permanantly disabled because of it, and because of the ages of the children and my mother's injuries, my father could no longer work, having to be my mother's nursemaid, and me and my sister's caretaker. We were on every kind of public assistance available from the time that I was 7 until I was 14. When I was 14 I was able to take better care of my mother as she had healed quite a bit so my dad was able to get work finally, but because of being out of the work force for 7 years, he was very limited in what he could find. We still got food stamps and medicaid, not to mention my mom's social security, but we were able to stop getting ADC and handouts from charities as much. When I was 16 I started working and that helped out a bit more. My dad and I had to stagger our work schedules so that one of us was always home, but we managed to work it out. It was really hard living in the kind of enviornment I was forced to. I remember our neighbor's 3 year old son was killed in a drive-by shooting. I remember seeing drug deals go down everyday. I knew who abused the system and had sugar daddies paying for their kids Fila's and Reebok's. But I also knew the people who needed the help just as much, if not more, than we did. I saw the people get evicted with 2 children and no where to go.
Flash forward a few years... I've been a productive citizen, earning a living, paying taxes and not needing assistance. I've done my part to try to start going to college. I finally woke up to the fact that I was in a horrible, abusive relationship and got out. However, because now I was the one solely responsible for bills, bad things started to happen. I couldn't work enough hours in the day to pay electric bills, sewage and water, gas bills and stuff. Mind you, I didn't have a car, so no car payments. I couldn't afford the *very* basics. I couldn't even make my mortgage payments. I tried to get help. I figured, I'm doing all that I can. I had no other options, so surely there should be some help for me. But there wasn't. I was point blank told when I applied for food stamps that I would be rejected because I didn't have any children.

I was rejected for food stamps because I did the responsible thing and didn't have children that I didn't really want at the time and most definately couldn't afford. Churches wouldn't help me because the government wouldn't help me and my family (extended and parental) couldn't help me because they were neck deep in their own troubles. I lost my house. I lost almost everything. I lived in a hotel for almost a year and then that screwed up when we couldn't afford to pay it anymore.

I like to pretend that I had a choice in moving to Indiana, but I didn't. We had nowhere to go and F's family graciously invited us to live with them until we could get on our feet. We stayed with his dad and stepmom for a month and found an exceedingly cheap apartment for $100 a week that included utilities, phone and cable. It was a start. We lived there for 4 months, and we just recently moved into a much nicer place, courtesy of a work friend who needed roommates. Things worked out, but only just barely. It's been done with a lot of help. Moving to Indiana proved to be a life saver. There have been organizations here who have been willing to help me. When we moved to the new place we didn't have any furniture because the apartment we rented was furnished. A thrift store gave us a bed, a dresser and a kitchen table.

Things are looking better everyday, and it's because my parents didn't abuse the system when I was little. They taught me the proper values. Now, I've just got to find a job

116

liveletlive

on Sep 16, 2004

And to liveletlive....for someone with a name like that, you sure are judgemental, asinine, and INTOLERANT of those whose views differ from yours. Pardon my frankness, but you, sir, are an asshole.

Interesting.

If I disagree with someone, I get called names. If I am an ahole, then I have plenty of company.

This is the most hate filled spot I have found so far on the NET. A bunch of people with nothing better to do than sit around and
knock people who they feel are their pet peeves. What a concept.

As for "live and let live" - why do you think I stand up for the person who may have to use food stamps or assistance ?
You don't KNOW them and neither do I .

This is much of JoeUser : I hate _______, waaaaaaaah / I am pissed off about __________. waaaaaaaaaah

How much time do you WASTE in a day posting about the most idiodic topics anywhere?
What good does it do to come here, and let everyone know that people like Nikki make you wanna puke?
Is it that people will read it and think that people like YOU make them want to puke?

I'll bet with all the time you throw away , you could be out there finding another person to hate.

117

dharmagrl

on Sep 16, 2004

Liveletlive: If you don't like it here, leave.. Go somewhere else. If we are the "most hate filled spot you have found so far" then you haven't been looking very far. There's more to this than knocking people, much more. If you read before you commented, you might see that.

118

liveletlive

on Sep 16, 2004

Reply #115 By: Draginol - 9/15/2004 8:54:11 PM
liveletlive, you would go far in helping your position if you could write coherently (such as complete sentences).

My position? Have I reached the JoeUser Miss America contest or something?
Do you think this World revolves aroung Blogettes?

I do write in complete sentences , with smaller notes to break them up. It's called writing.

I came here because an Internet search for two Christian brothers who murdered two Gay men, and stole their credit cards to buy weapons
and blow up Synagogues somehow hit on JoeUser. Now I know why.

I don't want a "position" . I don't want to sit at a computer all day and "talk" to people who ( mostly ) have nothing better to do than to waste time
hating.

119

liveletlive

on Sep 16, 2004

I said "so far".

No doubt there's alot more hate out there. But there's plenty here, too.

120

dharmagrl

on Sep 16, 2004

We're helping out a fellow blogger who's literally destitute by giving our belongings, our money, our time - but we have nothing better to do but hate.

We're setting up a charitable organization for homeless families - at our own expense - but we have nothing better to do but hate.

We've come to the assistance of our blogging friends - people who we've never met face to face, or even spoken to on the phone - but we hate.

We shed tears of joy when one of us has bad news or misfortune - but we have nothing better to do but hate.

We are here for each other, to support and comfort and love, to rejoice and mourn together - but we have nothing better to do than hate.

If you take the time to read people's articles, to see what awesome, kick-ass folks we have in this community of ours, you will see that articles and heated discussions like this are a very small part of what happens here. Overall, this is the best online community I have had the good fortune to come across and be part of.

I'm sorry that you don't want to be a part of that.

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