The adventures of Mommy woman
Published on March 7, 2009 By JillUser In Blogging

My husband has talked to our kids about the different parts of who a person is, that being 1) Instinct 2) Conditioning and 3) Who you choose to be.  I usually take those things for granted but recently observed those parts in myself while confronted with someone who is truly noone as far as I'm concerned.  This is someone who I have only read blogs of and only knew what this person put out on the internet.  As we all know, you can be anything you want to be on the internet.

This person seems to have some serious misconceptions about me.  That is where I confronted Instinct vs Who I choose to be.  I think by instinct people tend to want to defend themselves and explain themselves when confronted with someone who has it all wrong.  The thing is, sometimes there is nothing to gain from interacting with such a person so why waste the energy?  Why entertain someone who you have no interest in?

I think if I had any interest in becoming friends or interacting with a person I would be compelled to try to set the record straight.  If it's a person that you have no intention of ever interacting with in any way again, why bother?  At best you feel like you won some sort of "take that!" contest that will likely go on and on.  At worst you are left feeling like you stooped to their level.

I don't feel I owe this person any explanation, I have no intention of having any form of relationship with this person and I don't feel like I need to get any jabs in at this person.  If this person wants to believe whatever it is she believes, fine.  If she feels satisfied that she set me straight or schooled me or left me shaking in my boots, good for her.  I hope I can teach my children to choose love over anger and hatred.  I hope I can teach them to be happy for others and in turn be happy themselves.  I hope they know they should like themselves and know that they are valuable.  If they have that, it won't matter what anyone else throws at them.

 


Comments
on Mar 07, 2009

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt said that and it's a piece of wisdom I've always preached to my children.

on Mar 07, 2009

Roy, that's an excellent quote to keep in mind. 

on Mar 07, 2009

A very astute observation, Jill.

I myself have wasted countless hours over the years trying to correct a misconception. It is a waste of time to do so unless you really really need that particular person to see where you're coming from.