The adventures of Mommy woman
Messed Up Priorities
Published on March 12, 2004 By JillUser In Blogging
There has been a lot of talk about the rules and regulations regarding food stamps. A lot of us seem to experience the same observation, these women tend to have beautiful nails! *Notice I didn't say they all have* I would love to have beautiful nails. I don't. You know why? I don't have the time because I am taking care of my home and family!

Before children, I would get acrylic nails because I have a hard time growing my own. It is expensive and very time intensive. You have to sit there for at least an hour every week to two weeks. You have to make it a priority. Once I had kids, it simply wasn't a priority anymore.

I am wondering A)How do these women afford it? and B)Why is it they have time to sit on their butts getting their nails done?

I am sure I will get the "They deserve to feel normal too" argument. Manicures are another luxury item. Not a necessity at all! Designer clothes and coiffed hair, more luxuries. Seem to see a lot of those accompanying food stamps too.

Even seeing an example of this once (which I have seen much more than that) is enough to make you feel a bit bitter about paying for these peoples' groceries. People who deserve the assistance can feel defensive about people citing these instances, but it is one of those frustrating flaws in the system. I have so much respect for the woman with the calculator and pile of coupons in tote as she shops. She plans out a list, estimates the cost and sticks to her plan. I can't say I have ever seen a food stamp user ever reference a list or use a coupon. That is just my experience though.

Another thing I can't figure out is the cell phones. How is it they have cell phones too? Example I saw yesterday, leather coat, designer glasses, manicured nails, talking on the cell while yelling at 3 kids to stay out of the candy. All 3 kids had new sneakers, designer clothes and new coats.

I'm all for helping the needy. I am all for seeing kids get the nourishment and clothing they need. I am not for paying for luxuries I don't even have for myself or my family. My family is buying sneakers from Pay-Less and they are wearing Nikes. That just isn't right.

I am not sure how we are going to get there, but I think somehow our society needs to return to the times when people were proud to make the best of what they could with what they had. They would do anything they could to avoid hand outs. Anyone who doesn't believe that government assistance is a handout is fooling themselves. It used to be people were fine working their way up. Now any job other than the top is beneath them. Why work for less than you can make getting assistance? I'll tell you why, you can start a work record and work toward better jobs. Gain experience. Learn new things. Do for yourself and see how rewarding it is. That is how I was raised and it has worked out pretty well so far.
Comments (Page 2)
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on Mar 13, 2004
Brad,
I will argue the intelligence factor, the people I see "using the system" are remarkably intelligent in learning every loophole
available to them.
Sherye,
Around here ( eastern NC ) the CHURCHES are where the "qualifing education "is , so of course they go to church, and once they start getting "paid" they tithe like hell......
Jilluser,
I posted on wisefawns article about finding shoe, coats, fast food wrappers and the like, in a car I repo'd, all quality stuff, that was never reclaimed.............and yes, federal assistance was the non-payers income.

on Mar 13, 2004

Cleverness isn't intelligence.

on Mar 14, 2004
I agree with you on this. What really angers me is when I see the kids dressed from Goodwill and mom looking like she just had a makeover. I remember just being so irritated - there was a lady on the news - she had just gotten a free gift for her child from a charity - but was saying how great it was because otherwise her children wouldn't have gotten Christmas - but she had long, acrylic nails with the fancy designs (costs extra $$$), a fancy brand name jogging suit on, her hair done, brand new tennis shoes (no shoes ever come from Goodwill or second hand looking that white) and to top it off a mouth of gold teeth but hey she couldn't afford to get her kid Christmas. I know this wasn't a government program but it just irritated me. But I have to say even with all of the abuse I would hate to see the kids going to bed hungary because of the parents bad choices. It's not their fault but the sad thing is that they grow up thinking that way of life is normal and most likely will continue the trend.
on Mar 17, 2004

One thing that would probably help is if welfare -- whether that be food stamps, aid to the "disabled", whatever were more clearly stated as CHARITY.


If people had to own up that they are receiving charity, they might feel some shame before abusing it.

on Mar 19, 2004
I totally agree with you on this. To be "middle class" My husband and I work 4 jobs combined. I am tired of working my butt off to see people taking advantage of "said system". I think birth control should be mandated for people that can't pay for the kids they have. If they need to get ahead, do what the rest of is do go to college... get a job, dont spend money on things you DONT need!
on Mar 19, 2004
Janders, it really does seem simple to some of us to not have kids you can't take care of, work to earn money and not buy things you don't want as a priority to the things you need. Teaching people to think that way is the key. How do you go about that?
on Mar 20, 2004
I think unfortunatly a lot comes with the values that were instilled on us from our parents. My parents taught us to work hard for what we wanted, that life is not a hand out and that no one especially society "owes us" anything. That if we want or need somthing it is our responsibility to work for it. Are parents not teaching these things so it continues to cycle. How do you break the cycle?
on Mar 20, 2004
Why would anyone want fake nails anyways?
on Mar 24, 2004
Birth control is free, folks!

I'm not sure where you are, but around here there is no free birth control....except for abstinence, of course!
on Mar 24, 2004
These women are very visible. Less visible are the ones who do not have fancy nails, cars, etc. They are also getting public assistance. They go to church, they work as much as they can.

Thank you!! I used the system for four years....my dh was a full time college student, while I was working full time, making a little over minimum wage, and we were raising three children. We received just over three hundred dollars a month in food stamps...and we managed to fix nutritional meals every day--okay, so we went out to McDonald's once a month or so, so shoot me! LOL. Not everyone abuses the system, but the ones who do are out there giving the others a bad name.
on Mar 24, 2004
Studies have shown that low intelligence and poverty go hand in hand. Not as a total trend, of course, but as a general reality it's true.

Glad you said not as a total trend...at the time we were receiving food stamps, I was using my bachelor's degree and working as a kindergarten teacher....
on Mar 24, 2004

Poetmom99, your responses would be easier to read if you either used the 'Q' (quote) feature or put the quotes in quotes.

Thank you!! I used the system for four years....my dh was a full time college student, while I was working full time, making a little over minimum wage, and we were raising three children.

My husband would love to go back to school full time, but he can't.  He has to make money to support his family.  Should we get assistance so that he can go to school?  You got over $300 a month in food stamps?  I spend less than that and it's my own money.....

 

on Mar 24, 2004
I think that in no way is life fair. You try to give something to one person, and a person calls injustice. You try to give that person a piece of the pie, and then others start screaming. There is no way to win. EIther you are working poor, you are a government funding abuser, or you live in genuine poverty which is beyond your control. It can never be fair. For the people who get welfare because they can't support their multitude of kids I feel bad for them, but its their own fault usually(rape and other sexual crimes, and if the father leaves them, event though he has an obligation to pay child support), abstinence is the answer, because even birth control can fail. Such a hard thing to deal with, people.
on Mar 25, 2004
Poetmom99, your responses would be easier to read if you either used the 'Q' (quote) feature or put the quotes in quotes.

Thanks....but I DID use the quote feature on all of those yesterday....not sure why it didn't work......
on Mar 25, 2004
My husband would love to go back to school full time, but he can't. He has to make money to support his family. Should we get assistance so that he can go to school? You got over $300 a month in food stamps? I spend less than that and it's my own money.....

With five of us, we spend over $150 a week....so that was only paying half of our food...sorry that it upsets you. And I was working full time, teaching school...and he was working 20 hrs a week as well as going to school full time....and yet we were still below the poverty level.
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